2004-07-26 - p.m.

I am at a crossroads.Hopefully I can come through this year in a postive construtcive way that helps me build my life but so far for most of it atleast it has destroyed me.Enough about that for a moment.

I am surprised in the way Gina has been so cold and acted in such a harsh manner toward me. That is how I feel on how she has conducted her relationship with me.

I want to build our friendship and I love her but this is no way to commuinicate. I am not downing her I just do not like the way she has acted towards me. I want peace between us and resolution on problems so there will be no more pain on any issues. So far she has not tried to build any relationship of being a friend or any type of suitable friendly commuinication between the two of us. I want this and am trying. I can only hope she wants this too (as she stated she did) and will continue to reach out to her with love and understanding.

What I need is to be able to function much better than this if I have any chance to reclaim my life, but it just is not happening to the degree that is needed. So I wish the black hole knawing inside me at my soul would finish me off and suck me out of existance.

God help me...

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