31 October, 2004 - "Ghoulish"

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I miss my friend JK Potter some of the photomontage I put on here is by him. He's a great artist and wonderful friend. I was honored to be the very late best man at his wedding last year.If anyone wants to be scared they should just wake up to reality.. one of drugs, rape, incest, murder, and utter corruption in our everyday lives where the guilty walk free and the innocent pay the price of being true. Everyone is always depressed, anxiety attacks and compassion is like some rule not to be displayed at cost of being exploited by some junkie types. Yes be very very afraid... It's no wonder people hang themselves to me. Yeah Happy Halloween...

Here are some funny things I found online:

George W. Bush: Be careful not to let anyone see the strings. It takes away from the mystique. No mistake about it. In fact, no mistakes were ever made.

John Kerry: Use every costume you can get your hands on, but make sure to change into a different one depending on who will be answering what door.

Swift boat veteran: Wear whatever you want; then when you knock on doors, recount to whoever answers just what costume John Kerry wore 35 years ago.

The weapons of mass destruction: Hold on for a minute. Still looking for costume.

Osama bin Laden: See WMD.

Teresa Heinz Kerry: Go as a ketchup bottle that can't shut up but keeps telling other costumes that they should.

Saddam Hussein: Anything with stripes.

The WMD: Still looking.

Dick Cheney: Actually smile for once, as that will really scare people. Dress up as president too. You know, just like the last four years.

Florida voter: Trick or treat on Monday.

John Edwards: Go as a junk scientist, then sue the other kids for using costumes that will poison your candy.

Rush Limbaugh: dress up as a drug dealer, then blame it on the mainstream media. Of course get loaded too...

Kobe Bryant: Just be yourself you arrogant rapist pig, that is scary enough...

John Ashcroft: Wrap yourself in a flag topped off with a Carry Nation mask.

Bill O'Reilly: Why don't you dress as Ted Bundy.

Ralph Nader: Dress as a Tarred and feathered tax collector for taking the lobbyist donations that you always complain about...hypocrite.

Jenna Bush: why dont you act like a proper lady for once and not an alcoholic elitist spoiled bitch from hell

Supreme Court: Don a black robe, then decide which costume the rest of us should wear for the next four years. That and pretend you read the Constitution and respect what it says....

Dan Rather: Dress up as Tom Brokaw, say you're Peter Jennings, and then apologize for not admitting who you really are, Jon Lovitz.

CNN and FOX NEWS: Actually tell the truth for once and have journalistic integrity.

The deficit: Find the hugest costume you can, then just let it suffocate your children.

Michael Moore: Let out the deficit costume, get in and use it to suffocate the truth.

The WMD: Ah, forget it. Just go as whatever you can come up with. At least 50 percent of the people will buy anything, anyway.

Swing voter: Don't decide on a costume until the last minute, then watch how much candy you get.

Woo-hoo!

Or should I just say BOO!

There are such things as monsters

By THOMAS SHAPLEY
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER COLUMNIST

Officials at the Puyallup School District should be haunted by their decision to essentially cancel Halloween.

It's not that they took political correctness to unassailable heights of absurdity in guarding witches from untoward stereotyping.

And it's not that they may have used political correctness to cover back-door obeisance to the regular torch-and-pitchfork mob of religious wing nuts who would ban any hint of "the occult" from education or literature accessible to kids. (You may remember when the scary folks in the state Republican Party drafted a platform in 1992 that called for banning the teaching of sex education, witchcraft, multiculturalism and even yoga from public schools. A curse may linger over Yakima still.)

No, what will haunt the Puyallup officials is that they're party-poopers.

When we were kids, trick-or-treating in Beaux Arts, for instance, we knew to go only to the houses where the porch lights were on. If the light was off, it meant that the folks weren't home or, worse, they didn't want any kids coming to their doors. Those who weren't inviting visitors on Halloween likely had the best -- and most benign -- of reasons. Perhaps they were shut-ins, unable to manage a couple of dozen trips to the door to pass out candy and all the good homemade stuff like candied apples we used to get before some creeps started putting needles inside. Perhaps some illness or handicap simply kept them from being able to join in the fun. Perhaps there were even some whose religious convictions made them uncomfortable with such a pagan fete.

Of course, we kids figured they had far darker reasons. They hated kids. They hated people. They hated any sort of fun. The same houses never seemed to have Christmas lights, either.

Or maybe they were witches -- or worse. A kid's imagination just couldn't help but conjure up images from within those darkened homes, of strange, unhappy people hunched in the shadows, cowering, hoping the shrieks, giggles and fun would pass them by like the biblical angel of death.

Kids like parties, and treats and, let's face it, anything that breaks from the routine. And they like dressing up -- not Picture Day dressing up or Aunt Margie's wedding dressing up -- but dressing up in costumes and putting on makeup and going to school looking goofy, weird and, yes, scaaaaarrrry.

What could scare a grade-schooler now anyway? Fears of the WASL boogeyman surely trump any terrors a mere Halloween costume could muster.

And it's good to scare ourselves -- in good fun. Manufacturing make-believe monsters gives us what I think Hollywood calls creative control. Pretend monsters are just that -- pretend. We put on the costumes then take them off and put them away. We put on the makeup and then scrub it off.

Horrible scars healed, claws discarded, hairy warts removed, jagged teeth gone, garish blood spores no more.

Banished to the closet and washed into to the sewers, these theatrical trapping of terror hold for us no real terror.

We all know these monsters are not real.

And maybe making fun of fear once a year helps us deal with the monsters that are real.

Because there are real monsters, you know. They stalk the land, preying on the weak and the innocent.

They come in human guise: Ted Bundy, Westley Allan Dodd, Gary Ridgway.

They come in the guise of ideology, religion and politics.

They manifest themselves in famine, genocide, bigotry and terrorism.

We know they're there, these monsters. We know they're real. Sad to say, kids sometimes know better than any of us that there are monsters and that their names are incest, molestation, abuse and neglect.

And pretend monsters can sometimes keep them at bay, if only for a while. So tonight, bring 'em on -- werewolves and goblins and ghouls and ghosts and hairy apes and vampires and Freddie and Chucky and Leatherface and that guy in the ski mask, too. Bring them arm-in-arm with princesses, pumpkins and pirates, ballerinas, Petty Kitties puppy dogs. Let even the tricks be treats.

And let the Puyallup party-poopers huddle at home with the porch lights out, pretending that nobody's home.

Now some Ghoulish quotes and other blah blah blah:

"Eye of new, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boi and bubble."--Macbeth by William Shakespeare

"I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween."--Anonymous

ON HALLOWEEN

"The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, "Who? Who? Who?"
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
"Scary Halloween to you!"
--Nina Willis Walter

"From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!"--Scottish saying

PUBLIUS