Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo. He loves me, I love you. Therefore, vicariously, he loves you. Even if you're a Jew. Sometimes he's corny. Sometimes he's nutty. He can be brown, or greenish-brown. But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve he might come to your town. Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo...

"Think of Jerusalem-the intersection where many trails met. A small village that became the birthplace for three great religions-Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Why was this village so blessed? Because it provided a crossroads where different people met, different cultures and different civilizations could meet and find common ground. When People come together, flowers always flourish and the air is rich with the aroma of a new spring."
--Reverend Jesse Jackson

~Christmas in 21st Century Israel~

Click here for a Merry Fucking Christmas!

Yes it is that awfully shitty time of year again when we all need to remember what Christmas is all about.

Yesterday on Christmas Eve, I ate dinner with my parents and my landlords. I enjoyed myself to a degree, but was not pleased with the mood at the table. The restaurant we dined at is not my favorite but I actually enjoyed the service. The reason being why I am so uppity is that having spent years as a true professional server at a prestigious restaurant. My father however did not show proper etiquette and I quietly let him know with constructive criticism. He did not care for it and explained to me in the most impatient manner he didn�t give a damn about etiquette, manners, or how to conduct oneself in a restaurant. He is a semi-regular and to him the service sucked. Why? Because his meal was not 102% perfect, his plate wasn�t picked up on time, etc, etc. This despite that fact that he doesn�t like plates picked up to the everyone is finished and considers tipping 15% high (before taxes). While the server correctly worked the table, my father rudely explained he didn�t care, thought the server was awful, and that if his actions could infuriate him, then that made him feel good. He cut me off from speaking, and did not want to hear anything else.

He missed that I had waved the waiter off and did not mention that when at the table my father did as well.
When dealing with anyone to show a degree of respect does matter and should always be shown. When someone has been rude and difficult to him at his work, he does not like it at all. Just because you�re in a restaurant does not give you the right to be a jerk. It should be kept in mind that employees no matter how professional have many responsibilities, and just because something did not go 100% your way, does not mean that they did not give the best service they possibly could. My main point was to remind him that we were being served by a staff working on Christmas Eve. Despite whatever problems he may have, this was not the proper time or place to have such disgraceful attitude. I chose not to talk to him later as he said that if I wanted to make a point, I would regardless of whether he wanted to hear it. In all my years of life I have never finished anything with this dope. He is a loseminded jerk and though he is my father, I do not love or care about him at all. I have in no way any emotional attachment to him in my heart whatsoever. Furthermore, I do not see any reason to show Scrooge the heart of Christmas, for if he did not get it by now, why would he now? My apologies to Charles Dickens on disagreeing, but life plays out unlike literature. Though I do agree with his line "A Merry Christmas to us all; God bless us, every one!".

Shit happens and maybe, just maybe by opening the minds eye to what the holiday season is all about. It is also not about just acting with compassion around Christmas, but every day, for otherwise means you didn�t get the point to begin with.

The conversation at the table was grim and extremely negative. The others at the table agreed that if someone is being hostile to you then you should not listen or try and get along. They were discussing politics and government, from Andrew Jackson to the Iraq war. Of course no mention that Andrew Jackson was a racist murdering tyrant who defied the American law, or that there are other points of views to situations than brute force. Living in city where all people do is shoot, beat, murder, rape and hurt one another as though it were the national past time I fail to see there logic, or maybe, just maybe they fail to actually think first and be considerate human beings by showing love and understanding. It is no wonder that his city has the stench of death when we think with a violent and intolerant approach to one another.

I have not been witness too much, if any love, compassion, or understanding in 2004. The odd thing is I am all right about that. I take the same attitude my relationship with Gina that I take with this subject. That being with her, though she left me, my love for her is not conditional on her loving or being with me. I love her without conditions, and though my heart is shattered without her, it�s glued together since I still have that love in my heart. My happiness is not conditional on other people, but yours truly. So be it that in my years as man I have been raped, assaulted, beaten, fucked over in most conceivable ways. I am not angry toward anyone! That despite living in this godforsaken hell of murder, death, hatred, and depravity, it is no wonder this is �The City That Care Forgot�. I choose to enjoy life every day to best I can, however small that may be at times, than live in misery.

As for today I am not that pleased, as it�s been a year since my last really great time with Gina, before every thing broke in my life. I am all right, well as all right as I can possibly could be. I do not lack in my attitude, work ethic, faith, or responsibility to who I am and carrying out my hopes and dreams.

If on this day I could say something to the ones I love whom I can not reach it would this.

To Ralph: Thank you for being you.

To Lance: DUDE WHERES MY CAR!? Here come the Dukies.. Jayson Williams!I miss your live wire energy and your endearing attitude.

To Jodie:
I love you and hope you know how much, though that seems like crackhead dream to think you would.

To Georgina:
I will soon find you again and do my part to come to an understanding between the two of us.

My dear friend JK sent me an email and I always enjoy hearing from him. He sent me a new piece of art he just completed �Saint Aimless�, of our dear friend who hung herself in 2002. Well I guess she�s our Patron Saint of this time of year.