2004-07-27 - p.m.

So what do you when everything you know and believe has gone wrong?

Simply you remember who you are and never forget it. Just take a look within your heart and see it for yourself for a reminder. The answers are there for all of us whom seek to who we are.

I've been true to my heart and all that I love. So why is that I drown in misery and confusion?

Is it that I blame those I love and judge them for lacking in faith, as wishy washy and half-assed Indian givers with their hearts?

Well yes that hurts me, but no I do not.

I gave my all and things turned out as horribly as they possibly could have. Personally I have not ever thought things would be perfect. I also have never claimed to be perfect and no if ands or buts about that. I did do well with I accomplished with my life over the past four years. I am proud of myself and I have no regrets. I made errors along the way I believe we learn from those and improve upon them.

Well, as things are now I have no idea how to get through this difficult time but I have faith and commitment. It is truly sad so many do not, the truth is the only glory in life is surviving. But that begs to question what is truly living? So as write this I am down but I will find a way out of this hell. I refuse to kneel and kiss the devil's ass.

PUBLIUS