16 November, 2004 - "Happiness Is A Sad Song"

"The fool who knows that he is a fool can for that reason be a wise man; but the fool who thinks that he is wise is, indeed, called a fool."--The Dhammapada

I have not been writing very much for several reasons. This year has been a difficult one and lately I have felt tied in a knot. Of all things giving away the one good thing that came out of this was 'Amber', my german sheperd puppy. I love her dearly but due to the fact I am moving and getting a job etc I wont be able to take care of her, it lead me to give her away. She is with a couple who loves her and will spoil her as well as train her. I am happy I found her a proper home with wonderful masters.

It was a heartbreaking to go into the final part of this year losing her. I asked myself mid-year what else can I lose? Now I know...

So I will put my best foot forward and take a leap of faith into the darkness. I wonder what will happen. Good or bad? That is not a way to look at the journey of life...

I have been quite the mixed up fool at times especially with Georgina. I was far too optimistic at times, but it did lead me to realise my own psychology. Gina always pushed me to be true and the best part of this year is walking tha path. I see the next year as a realization in part being the next step of the process of my selfless-education. Now I am begining to understand I want to suffer like an idiot. That is my path to happiness..

PUBLIUS

"You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you ,leaving a part of yourself behind."--Unknown

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."--Edna St. Vincent Millay

I LOVE and miss you Georgina...

"Moonriver"

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style someday...
Oh, dream-maker.. you heart-breaker..
wherever you're going I'm going your way...
Two drifters, off to see the world..
There's such a lot of world to see...
We're after the same rainbow's end-- waiting 'round the bend, my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me...

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